Erotomania
by Hayate.Hikari
Summary: Gravitation AU, where Shindou Shuichi is suffering from a mental illness and met the one who changed his life. OC x Shuichi (Shounen-Ai)
1. Entry 1

Decided to write a new fanfic for Shuichi instead, as I think that Shuichi deserve better, no matter how many time I re-read Gravitation. Thus, this fic is created. It's a Gravitation AU where Shuichi is a mental patient and OC is the doctor = v=)) Enjoy~

Everyone belongs to Murakami Maki, except my OC and my story plot = v=))

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_**Entry 1.** _Encounter

_Febuary 10th, Monday_

It's your usual boring Monday, nothing much different, everything and everything were the same as they were for god knows how long.

Except that I was informed that there will be a new patient be under me for treatment and is arranged to meet in later time.

As I thought it's gonna be some usual disorder such as depression or insomnia due to society stress, but apparently this patient here is suffering from de Clérambault's syndrome**,** which another name is _Erotomania_, was sent here after all kind of harassments toward his "love", _**Eiri Yuki**_.

'Eiri Yuki? Ah, the famous author.'

I was quite wrong about my next patient, as it turns out to be a young lad, greeting me with a grin as I open the door.

"Hello, I'm Shindou Shuichi!" He introduced himself, his tone filled with energy.

From his body language, the tone he uses and the overall aura, it seems that he is happily in love, blissed from his surroundings.

"Welcome, Shindou-san. I'm Suzuki Kaine, how are you?"

"I'm good!"

"Glad to hear that. The next question I'm gonna ask you is going to be a sensitive one, would you mind about it?"

"Um hm, not at all!"

"Do you know the reason why you're here, meeting me?"

Everything changed upon the question being asked. His face turned red from anger, hatred and sorrow.

He yelled, "**THEY SEPARATED US! **WE WERE SO **DEEPLY **_**IN LOVE**_**! **They remarked that something is wrong with me, told me to stop bothering Yuki… Yuki shoved me, beat me up… Saying that I was disgusting and not to find him anymore… He wasn't like this before… **IT MUST BE THEM! **Their words must have influenced him! Yuki never being so cruel to me… It must be them…"

His words soften, as he curls up and weeps like a kid.

I gently pat him at his back as he cried till he fall asleep. Even in his sleep, he called the name of his love.

In his world, it may be a happily ever after ending, but it's never the same in reality.

\- Kaine


	2. Entry 2

Updating a little after the hectic week of assignments and presentations OTL

As usual, everyone belongs to Murakami Maki, except my OC and my story plot = v=))

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_**Entry 2.** _His story

_February 13th, Wednesday_

It's been 3 days since that first session, and I got curious about their story.

'How did they met? What kind of situation to cause them to know each other? Everything can be a clue.' I thought.

"Yahoo, Suzuki-sensei!"

My train of thoughts broke upon that lad's cheerful voice.

'He seems no different from what I first saw him'

"Hey. In a good mood?"

He nodded his head and grin.

He said that he met up with his friend, Hiro, have a good chat and lunch treated before he came here.

I gestured him to take his seat and raised my question.

He got more hyped up as today topic involved with his lover, Eiri Yuki.

At the start, to Shindou Shuichi, Eiri Yuki is just a famous author that his mother and his sister adored 'cause of his works and of course, his look.

'No matter what he is, he just merely a human.'

That's his assumption on him, nothing great… **till that day**.

Shuichi's sister, Maiko bribed him to accompany her to a signature event held nearby, by buying Nittle Grasper latest CD for him.

Maiko went missing (more of ran away to grab merchandise) once they reached their destination, leaving him with no choice, Shuichi start queueing for his sister.

As there's majority of female fans no matter in term of age and from the hype of meeting their idol, Shindou Shuichi was being shoved aside and lost his balance.

'Oh shit—'

The painful impact he was expecting did not happen, he opened his eyes and met up with those golden gaze.

That moment Shuichi realised that he had met the_ love_ of his life.

And thanks to this incident, he gained a chance in knowing Eiri Yuki, getting close and further advance their relationship.

Shuichi told me that after that day of encounter, Yuki took initiative to exchange his mobile number and email with him, and told him that he will arrange a day of compensating 'dinner' for that day's incident.

He was in **_cloud nine_**.

He told his friend, Hiro about it, but he wasn't happy about it.

"He might be just fooling around with you?"

Hiro commented, but he didn't take it in.

"Hiro you're just jealous that I'm closer to him now, no worries, you're still my best buddy!"

He quoted and act out what his friend done, making me chuckles a little.

He continued that, everything was fantastic as Yuki treated him like he is his precious and all, but people around them doesn't approve his relationship with him.

"What if one day he got sick and abandon you?"

"That's not going to happen, my friend."

He assured.

Till the day Yuki told him to 'stop pestering him'.

And he was sent here for "treatment".

Like in the first appointment, as Shuichi talked about the afterward of his story, he starts to get agitated and devastated with all the crying and 'Why's.

I gently bring him into my embrace, patting his back consoling him.

_Love is a question, where's no there definite answer to it._

_It can be sweet yet it can be too painful to handle._

_\- Kaine_


	3. Entry 3

Tomorrow's my exam and I'm here updating my fic. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

As usual, everyone belongs to Murakami Maki, except my OC and my story plot = v=))

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**_Entry 3._** Hiro's story

_February 14th, Thursday_

I received a call from an unknown number, the caller claimed himself to be _Hiro_, Shindo Shuichi's friend and he wish to have a talk with me.

Considering that listening from different view may aiding me in understand his situation, I approved that idea.

We both agreed in meeting up at the café nearby my workplace today, and exchanged numbers… well, more of giving my number to this, _Hiro_ guy.

I reached the place earlier to our agreed timing, arranging some of the notes about my view on this guy, based on Shindou Shuichi's words.

Then, a guy with mid-shoulder length maroon-red hair stood in front of me, gaining my attention.

"Are you, Suzuki Kaine, Shuichi's doctor?"

He asked as I nodded my head.

"Yes, please take a seat, Hiro-san."

He sat on my opposite side, noticed those notes that were lying around the tables, he quickly turned away and ordered a cup of latte.

"I may sound rude for saying this, but may you start talking on what happened to Shindou-san?"

I asked, as he nodded his head.

Nakano Hiroshi and Shindou Shuichi had been sticking together like brothers when they are young.

When there's Shindou Shuichi, there's definitely Nakano Hiroshi.

To Nakano Hiroshi, Shindou Shuichi is like his best friend, his precious brother, the guy who're always happy-go-lucky, and always positive toward literally anything.

Till he met that **_trash_**, Eiri Yuki.

At the moment when Shindou Shuichi told him that he found the "_love_" of his life and that person's Eiri Yuki, he knew that Shuichi will bound to suffer.

He heard of Eiri Yuki, he may be a good romance novel author but definitely a bad lover.

He warned Shindou Shuichi about how his '_lover_' love to fool peoples' feeling but he just doesn't buy it.

Nakano Hiroshi tried all ways to stop Shindou Shuichi, but none of them works as he had fall deep into the pit calling _**love**_.

Every single day, Shindou Shuichi will update him on how Eiri Yuki treated him like gem, being by his side, showering him with '_love_' that he claimed.

He was happy for his friend, but in the other side, he was worried for the hurt that he's going to receive when the famous author's sick of 'lover game'.

As time goes by, just when he's going to accept that fact, Shindou Shuichi called him, and told him that Eiri Yuki doesn't want him anymore.

Nakano Hiroshi ran out and only found Shindou Shuichi sitting at his doorstep, crying.

"Hiro…"

His voice cracked, from all the crying as he came over, Nakano Hiroshi quickly got him into the house and settle the poor lad down.

He went to confront Eiri Yuki behind his back, and only gotten angrier.

"He's cute, like an innocent child but that's his bad point too. He's too _annoying_."

Eiri Yuki said, earning a punch in his face.

Of course, he fight back in the name of defending himself and give Hiro extra punch, warning him to stop bothering him like his ex-lover does.

"Who do he think he is? If it's not for Shuichi, I wouldn't even want to interact with that **trash**."

Nakano Hiroshi hissed, as I just shrugged while taking down what he said.

"Right after he broke up, he starts to behave suspiciously."

He continued.

Shindou Shuichi have been sneaking out after his broke-up, leaving early and came back late, gaining Nakano Hiroshi's wonder.

He followed him and only realized that his best friend still looking out for his 'lover of his life', hoping in getting a patch back but getting harsher rejections.

Shindou Shuichi's situation worsen every day, from mentioning how much both Eiri Yuki and him are in love but have to separate due to circumstances, cutting articles, mailing love letters in telling him how much he love him to even stalking him _**every single day**_.

Eiri Yuki couldn't stand that current situation anymore, he beat up Shindou Shuichi hard till Nakano Hiroshi appeared.

"You better do your best in controlling and send this kid to see a psychiatrist! There's something definitely wrong with his head!"

Eiri Yuki growled, as he threw Shindou Shuichi on the floor.

"Quit pestering me, a_hole! You make me _**sick**_."

He cursed, leaving Shindou Shuichi curled on the floor, with tears of devastation.

"Only then I decided to bring him to see you, Suzuki-sensei, and realize he is really in need of help… that I can't give."

Nakano Hiroshi took his last sip of latte.

"I promise, he will be the same old Shindou Shuichi soon under my guidance."

I said, as he look up, forcing a smile.

"Thank you… Really, thank you so much…"

We parted ways after the long talk.

_Even when everyone, everything doubt and hates you, you knew there's someone who's called 'Best Friend' be by your side, loving and believe in you._

_The beauty of friendship._

_\- Kaine_

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**Author's note:** To be honest, at the start I'm okay with Yuki, when I finished everything for the first time I was really happy for both of them as they finally can get together, it's a happy end. BUT. As the more I re-read the manga and watches the anime + OVA, the more mixed feeling I had toward him. Yes, he **_may_** have a tragic past, but it isn't any excuse for him to _fool_ Shuichi around like this. You guys may judge or comment or assume that I hate Eiri Yuki thus I'm making Eiri Yuki the extreme bad guy in my fanfiction, but I do really hope that Shuichi will be **loved**.

My heart hurts so much whenever Shuichi was badly treated. Yuki claimed he love Shuichi at the end, but does he really love him? I doubt so.

I pity Yuki, my heart aches for him too, but my heart breaks when I see how Shuichi trying his best to help Yuki overcome his past, accepting his everything, loving him as he is, but in the end all his efforts doesnt get Kitamura Yuki out of Yuki's heart, instead, only getting the same position with him. He doesn't deserve this... Just why can't Yuki acknowledge Shuichi's everything too and love him?

Yes I do admit I get overly-emotional when it involves Shuichi, because I love him. I hope he can be blissful and the usual happy-go-lucky self, like how Hiro hopes for too.

Feel free to exchange your view about this too by reviews/PM! o wo))


	4. Entry 4

Lots of things happened recently, with addition of stress faced during work and toxic people... Wasn't feeling well emotionally well when I update this, so it's a very short and not well written one I guess? If I have the time, I will update more, I'm so sorry for the bad update...

Just a little teaser for future updates, it's going to get a little more heart-aching chapters after chapters, I guess. - w-))

As usual, everyone belongs to Murakami Maki, except for my OC and story plot.

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_**Entry 4.**_ Shuichi

_March 26th, Thursday_

It's been a while since I last updated.

Few days after I met up with Hiroshi, I approached Eiri Yuki, for the situation based on his point of view.

To be honest, it wasn't really a good meet-up.

I felt angry for Shuichi, I want to punch this man so much that he can wake up from his idea, but then again, I can't do or judge much 'cause I personally don't know this man well enough.

This man doesn't deserve his love.

Determined to cure Shuichi, I researched up on the best way to help him, and all conclusions are the same two:

"Dont let the patient get close to the person whom triggered the illness,

**AND**

Prescribe your patient with some Antipsychotic medicine."

To me, it will be best if no medication involved, but that's going to be hard.

Erotomania is not a common illness, as 5 out of 5000 people in this world will suffer from this.

There's no definite therapy for this illness.

Many had cured, but many have continue to suffer.

As more consultations with Shindou Shuichi, I got to know him more.

He's a positive fellow, and he have this power to brighten people up from his bubbly attitude toward everything.

Even though he's suffering deep in his heart.

He doesn't like to show negative emotions toward everyone, even toward his family.

He said, "My job is the make people smile."

I gently ruffles his head, and thanked him.

From that day onward, I told myself, I must cure this guy, he doesn't deserve to suffer like this.

This illness have its difficulty in therapeutic, but by hook or by crook, I'll make sure he will be well again, or at least being happy without that Eiri Yuki.

I planned out that the best way to divert his attention away from Eiri Yuki, is to talk about his favourite band, things and many more that doesn't involve Yuki.

I'll start to get closer to him, from doctor-patient relationship to being good friends, as it will benefit in the treatment.

Being for him, being by his side will be the best for him.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

… Nonetheless I didn't realise that, I _fallen_ for my patient.

\- Kaine


	5. Entry 5

Like no other days, lots of things happened, and everyday I'm feeling not so well emotionally. Work stress, relationship issues... Life have been tiring for me, and I was so busy that I forgotten to update! I'm sorry! As usual, this will be a short one too, but I do hope you guys will enjoy it.

As usual, everyone belong to Murakami Maki, except for my OC and story plot.

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**_Entry 4._** Love…?

_April 11th, Friday_

I've been struggling, ever since I found out my feelings toward him.

Never fall in love with my patient is one of my principle.

But '_Shuichi_' broke it.

I want to be by his side, making him happy, forget all his sorrow, and cure him from his illness.

I want him fully recovered from all the things that hurting him.

I smile whenever I seen him in happiness anything, even little things.

I want to hold him tight in my embrace when he cry over that jerk.

I start to yearn for the days for appointment, or even days we hang out just as friends.

This is getting out of hand.

I'm **losing control**.

The more I told myself that he is just a friend, or even a patient, the inner me will always remind me on how much I fallen for him.

I need to stop myself, before anything got worse.

Yet, this is getting nowhere.

What should I do?

What _can_ I do?

I can't say _NO_ when it comes to anything that is related to him.

When I realise, he… already deep in my heart.

I should have not taken this job in the first place, but, whatever is fated, it's fate…

Ugh.

I need to clear my head, and chill, being this way doesn't help anything either.

…

After calming down all my thoughts, I decided that I should just continue to be the friendly relationship with him, as a doctor and as a friend.

Being able to be by his side is already the best and I should be contented with it.

" _**No more, self, no more. **_

_** It'll be hard, but it's the best for both of you. **_

_**You, especially." **_

Every day, I remind myself about this.

It's going to be really, REALLY, hard but what can I do, except try to quit?

Yes.

I'm suffering from an illness named as love-sick, and he's the only cure to this illness.

_\- _Kaine


	6. Entry 6

Sudden urge to write a new chapter during work, and thus here's the new update xDDD

And I want to thank all the readers for reading my fanfictions, even though my language wasn't even that good and IMO, my work isn't that interesting too. That's why, whenever I receive a review or a notice of "someone favourite-d your fanfiction", I feel extra happy and it really motivated me to continue my works, so thank you, readers, for reading my works.

Thank you so much, I really appreciated it a lot. m(_ _)m

Please do continue to enjoy it, as I will do my best in bringing the best to everyone.

Being sentimental at night, HAHAHA.

As usual, everyone belong to Murakami Maki, except for my OC and story plot.

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_**Entry 6.**_ Crumpling

_April 20th, Monday_

Ever since that day I decided, I push him away, far away from me.

I wasn't cold, but I was neither kind either.

I distanced myself away from him, in hoping that he couldn't notice, but he did.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing's wrong, my friend, nothing." I replied.

_ NO, PLEASE NOTICE IT, PLEASE ASK ME IF IM ALRIGHT EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT. I'M HURTING SO MUCH INSIDE… _

_PLEASE… _

"I see… Nee, Kaine… Yuki, came up to me recently. He says that he's sorry and he want a patch up."

He said, while smiling so… brightly

His smile was filled with much happiness.

On that moment, I felt as if my world have just crushed.

All the things I had done, all the effort that I put in had just been crumpled easily by one man's sentence.

And it's from that bastard.

I forced a smile at him, and told him to consider it thoroughly.

"Please think about this with a clear mind and thoroughly. Do you want to be treated the same again? Does he really worth going back? Does he really **deserve** you?"

_Please forget about that bastard and look at me… _

Shuichi kept quiet for a moment and nod his head.

"I'll think about it carefully, Kaine, don't worry."

He smiled, yet on his next moment he diverted his gaze away.

I knew he was lying about it, I knew that he yearn to go back to that bastard's side.

_**NO. **_

_**NO WAY I'LL ALLOW THAT.**_

_** IF ONLY HE DOESN'T EXIST IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE… **_

I was struck at my own thought.

_**What the hell I was thinking!?**__ Killing a person? _

_ No… _

I clutched and shook my head hard, as if to get rid of those horrible feelings out of my head.

_He is only your __patient__, your __friend__, nothing else. _

_Get a grip. _

_ Stop thinking about it, about him._

_ You have no chance in winning that dude. _

_ Your existence is merely that small compared to him. _

_**GET. OVER. HIM.**_

…

…

…

…

…

_But… How? _

_Someone… save me… _

_From this agony… _

\- Kaine


	7. Entry 7

I realize that when I'm moody I have the inspiration in continue this series, what is wrong with me? XD

And also that I haven't been updating for a month HOMG...

Just really busy with work and stuffs _(:'3 J And now here I am, updating it during work! XD /OPPS/

As usual, everyone belong to Murakami Maki, except for my OC and story plot, and also for all the supports and reading my stories. Thank you guys.

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_**Entry 7.**_ Lost

_May 29, Friday_

I told Hiroshi about Shuichi's situation after hearing it from him, as Hiroshi have the right to know.

Of course, he wasn't happy with it.

I mean, who in the right mind is happy about **that **situation, right?

It was despicable of me in making use of Hiroshi as a prevention for Shuichi to meet that _trash, _since I in any ways, doesn't have the stand in interfering his choice.

I'm just his **_doctor_**.

Since that day I lost contact with him till...

...

Hiroshi called up for me, in hoping to have a talk with me on Shuichi.

We met at the same cafe that we arranged to meet on our first meeting, and when I saw him, I was deeply in shocked.

He looked as if he aged 10 years despite it's only about few days since I last saw him.

"Hey Hiroshi... Are you, alright?" I asked, as he took a sip of his coffee with tiredness.

As if long period passed by, Hiroshi looked up to me.

"Kaine..." He called out.

"Yes, I'm here. What exactly happened? It's been so long ever since I last heard from you."

"I... Shuichi... I... can't bear it anymore... His situation worsened."

His words hit my heart so hard that I almost forget to breathe.

"In.. what way...?" I squeezed the words out.

"On the same day you told me about that _trash, _he came up to me and begged me to let Shuichi be with him again, giving all those f_king bullshits of 'I only realise Shuichi meant so much to me, he is the best and he will die without him and etc...'. I had a physical fight with him, cast-ed him out of the house and warned Shuichi not to meet that _trash_ anymore."

"..." I kept quiet, looking down at the coffee, in hiding my emotion away from Hiroshi.

He continued.

"Shuichi cried, begged, but in vain. His parents knew about his situation and locked him up in his room. But somehow, he managed to sneak out to find Yuki. Before he could reach him, I managed to find him and tied him back to my apartment. He's now being locked, with his hands and legs tied up."

I looked up instantly with shock, _how could he do that? _

"I was expecting that from you..." He forced a smile.

"But that's the only way... Every single day he have been crying and smiling, all in his mind is just that _trash_. He's not willing to talk to me, I understand that, but even toward his family... He's just... He's not willing to take in any foods..."

As Hiroshi said, his voice wavered and cracked.

He was crying.

"Kaine... I have no one to go to now... Please... cure Shuichi... I can't stand it anymore..."

Upon hearing this, I... don't know what to feel.

Lot's of emotion overflowing me that I went back home unknowingly.

I promised Hiroshi that I'll find a day to see him, to understand his situation.

To be honest, I wasn't prepared.

I'm still struggling.

And yet things not going well.

I can never forgive myself if I make use of the current situation, yet, this is the only chance.

_Please, tell me what should I do..._

\- Kaine


	8. Entry 8

Sorry for the really late updates as I have been really busy with my internship works (since it involved in events), drained internally and physically...

Final year of current studies, continue to buck up, self!

As usual, everyone belong to Murakami Maki, except for my OC and story plot.

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_**Entry 8.**_ State of Mind

_June 11, Thursday_

I have finally cleared my thoughts to write down about him...

It's just that things are getting more out of hands, that I have no idea what should I do anymore...

Few days ago, I bucked up my courage and head to Hiroshi's apartment, to see _Shuichi_.

"Hey Kaine, thanks for coming." He said.

I gave him a gentle pat at his shoulder as he forced a smile and led me to that room.

"..."

He paused, as if he doesn't want to acknowledge whatever is happening in that room, then he took a deep breathe and opened it.

As the door reveal the room, I was in utter shock.

The room was in it's worst state of mess, there's nothing usable in the room as its all either broken or being smashed.

My dearest lad, bruised everywhere that can be seen; both his legs and arms tied up by wires, is trying to jump out of the opened window.

Both Hiroshi and I snapped back, I dashed toward Shuichi as fast as I could, while Hiroshi sealed the window up, preventing the same thing from happening again.

"What in the world are you doing?!" I flared at that young lad (for the first time), and his reply made my heart sank (more).

"Kaine... Kaine... please, bring me to Yuki... I want to meet Yuki...! Kaine please... Yuki... I want to see him... Yuki... My beloved one..."

He pleaded, cried, holding on to me so hard, hoping that I could bring him to see him.

I kept quiet, one hand comforting him while the another hand jabbed him with Tranquilizer, which calmed him down and eventually fallen asleep.

Hiroshi tied the sleeping lad onto his bed, then we quietly left that room.

Hiroshi fell to his knee the moment he closed the door, I quickly carried him to his sofa despite that I'm actually _exploding_ inside.

That trash is **ruining** him too much.

Hiroshi took in few more deep breathe, as I grabbed a cup of water and passed it to him.

When he calmed down, or so I thought, he slammed his cup on the table hard and cursed.

"That trash, no he's much worst than trash... As if he haven't been ruining Shuichi enough...!"

He said, as he turned to me.

"Every day that... piece of shit, will appear in front of my house and beg me to let him see Shuichi. Of course I didn't. I beat, I punched, I kicked, but he kept coming. Kaine..."

"?"

"I'm sorry to trouble you, and I'm utterly sorry to let you see and even be involved in this... I'm already at my wit's end. Can I entrust Shuichi, fully, to you?"

"Why the sudden-"

"2 things, I'm entrusting Shuichi to you so that that piece of shit will never get to find Shuichi, and secondly I know that you have feelings toward him, right? I know that you definitely will take good care of him. I know I'm selfish, but that's what I think is the best for him. I trust you."

"... Give me few more days to decide, okay? I know there's not much time, but..."

"I understand. It's too sudden for you. Alright, hope that it will be a good news... Kaine, I just want Shuichi to be happy, even if he's not in a great state of mind. I want him to live in a world where there's only happiness for him..."

...

...

...

...

...

Hiroshi's words stuck into my head ever since that day.

To be or not to be?

That's the question.

Do I deserve him?

Can I give him happiness despite Hiroshi's trust?

What if he rejects me?

Someone... Just give me an answer.

\- Kaine

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**Author's Note: **Should I give it a good ending or a bad ending? Please PM/Review to tell me = v=))


	9. Entry 9

Work have really been hectic for me, deadline everyday and I'm so stress that I nearly had a breakdown...

So sorry for the bad and angst chapter for this one 'cause I really need to vent it out somewhere...

This story will be ending soon... I'll definitely give it a happy ending for my dearest Shuichi, no worries.

As usual, everyone belong to Murakami Maki, except for my OC and story plot.

* * *

**_Entry 9._** Treatment

_July 17, Friday_

Day 15 of treatment

Painful memories of that trash are still there, but at least he isn't as agitated as before.

He starts to forget bit of things here and there.

That's… a good start, I guess?

I don't want to hurt him, I don't want to see him suffering this way, but is this the only way?

By hypnotising him.

I told his family and Hiroshi that I don't have confidence in doing this, please think twice about it.

He will forget about everything, everyone and is as pure as a piece of white paper.

They told me, "Please, just do it, as long he's not hurting anymore."

…

I can't bear to do it.

…

Yet I can't bear to hear his screams and cries that filled with deep agony.

…

And so I decided.

Once start, I have to hold on, it may be hard, but if I'm able to see his happy smile again, I wouldn't mind.

Even though he will lost all those memories.

I'll hold on for you, no matter of happiness, grief, madness, fear… everything, I'll remember for you.

Because I love you, my boy.

I'm willing to do anything to exchange for your happiness again.

I brought him to a countryside, a place no one know who are we and started the treatment.

Shuichi struggled greatly at the start, which I have to use medicine to force him to calm down.

Eventually, he gave in, or so I assumed.

He just allow me to do all those (erasing his memories) to him, and having the same expressionless face.

It pains me.

I did my best to make him laugh again, but all in vain.

I began to wonder, am I doing the right thing? Is this the right choice? Is this really the best thing for him?

No, I have to hold on.

I **must** hold on.

Seeing you laugh again, is enough for me, my dear boy.

Day 25 of treatment.

He started to regain his old self.

He asked me, if the Yuki I mentioned is the author that his sister loved? That guy once saved him from a trip on his autograph session.

That's a good sign, as apparently he forgotten all the bad memories, but it's not good enough.

"Then, do you know who am I?"

I asked, as he looked at me with a big smile.

"You are like a great older brother who have been taking care of me all these while! Come to think about it… I still don't know your name yet… Oniichan?"

His words struck me hard.

I re-introduced myself, with a made up story of I'm his distant cousin who happened to be a psychiatrist and he is suffering from depression, his parents asked me to take care of him till he is 'totally fine'.

"Ah~ Kaine-oniichan~ Thank you so much! But I feel much better…?"

He said, but I cut him off with all the medical terms to convince him that he still need further treatment since he is not 'fully recovered' yet.

He brought in by my words, and the treatment continue.

I'm sorry my boy… to lie to you.

But all I wanted is to be with you a little longer, even it's a very short time.

...

\- Kaine


	10. Entry 10 - Ending 1

To be honest I have no idea how to write the ending since for this story, there's bound to be one be suffering in this. So I decided to write 3 endings, starting with the least painful (IMO) first.

I know I'm (kind of) cruel, but this story is created to give Shuchi a happy ending, despite it may be the worst for my OC. Well... Enjoy?

As usual, everyone belong to Murakami Maki, except for my OC and story plot.

* * *

**_Entry 10._** Ending 1: Back to Normal

_August 1, Saturday_

Day 30 of treatment

Everything is going well, in my opinion.

His memories are getting vague, that he starting to not remembering the things I told him.

"Really?"

"Do I really done those?"

"I can't remember."

Are those of his words.

I gave him a pat on the shoulder and reassuring him that "it's okay" to not remember those.

Since it's no "big deal".

He is going back to his old cheerful self, which I'm so glad, that I thank to any gods that I know.

He wouldn't be that _lifeless_ Shuichi anymore.

"Kaine-oniichan...?"

He called out, as he stand near the kitchen table, eyes wandering around.

"Hmm?"

"Why aren't my family and Hiro visit me all these while?"

"..."

There's a moment of silence between us, till I heaved a sigh.

"It was quite critical for your case that time, so I've thought that ultimate peace was the best for your treatment. Thus we're here, and I have their permissions in bringing you here too."

I walked up to him, and ruffled his hair.

"Don't worry, we'll be going back soon, I promise. Just a little longer, okay? Till you fully recovered."

_Just a little more, with only just both of us._

He pouted, then grinned.

"Alright!"

He hopped away, as I look at him from his back.

...

I guess, it's time to let him go, soon.

Back to his normal, happy life with his family and friends.

...

-.-.-.-

...

Day 70 of treatment

Shuichi have fully recovered.

Today is the day I'll be bringing him back to the place he supposed to be at.

I know it's hard to let him go after all these days of being together with _solely_ him, but I promised him.

I don't wish to break any promises to him, like that _**trash**_ did.

I'm willing to do anything that bring happiness to him, even if it meant to be _letting him go_.

Seeing him being happy again, is enough for me.

That's my sole purpose.

...

His family and him break into tears of happiness upon the meeting when I brought him back.

"I miss you guys so much!"

He said, while crying and grinning at the same time.

His parents just hugged him tightly while Maiko dissing him, telling him to decide either if he wants to cry or to smile.

Despite her tone, I can see that tears gathering around corners of her eyes, as she turns away to wipe away her tears.

Hiroshi gave me a hard pat at the shoulder, as he mouthed "Thank you".

"It's what I'm supposed to do."

"Bringing him back the old happiness he supposed to deserve, seeing him this happy, is really enough."

"I have no regrets."

"It might be a little hard, but I can endure it."

Hiroshi kept quiet and gave me a gentle squeeze on the shoulder.

His smile, is all I wished for.

...

After all these, Shuichi will still come for consultation, but this time he came out, smiling.

The old sight of Shuichi crying, is gone.

I'm really glad.

I'm still being there for him, as his "distant cousin" and his psychiatrist whenever he needs me.

This is the only thing I can do, to care, to protect, to _show my love_ for him.

I don't mind, I did not regret.

Anything, for my dearest.

...

\- Kaine


	11. Entry 11 - Ending 2

To be honest, I think this ending is quite cliche compare to any other endings but yet somehow, brought out the slight heart pain out I guess :x

Do hope that you guys will enjoy this ending too, through.

Will update the letter from Kaine to Shuichi later or something, if I remember (OPPS).

As usual, everyone belong to Murakami Maki, except for my OC and story plot.

* * *

_**Entry 11.**_ Ending 2: Comatose

_August 11, Monday_

Day 40 of treatment.

Things went on smoothly, as long as that _trash_ doesn't find us.

Living like this forever, is a great choice too, isn't it?

I do hope that every day of our life, will be this peaceful.

No fear, no grief, no anxiety… No nothing.

Only positive vibes.

I believe that I can _**erase **_everything about _him_ entirely.

Just, a little…

Please wait patiently, my dearest.

* * *

Day 50 of treatment.

I have successfully _**sealed **_up all his memories about _trash._

He will be disappearing in his life **FOREVER**.

Hey… Shuichi.

It's just two of us now, I promise, I definitely bring happiness to you.

So, on today onwards, please only look at me.

Alright?

I can wait, since I had waited for so long, it doesn't matter if I have to wait for just this little more.

I will change you, to a better person.

So please, smile for me?

Shuichi…

* * *

Day 70 of treatment.

HOW THE HELL DID THAT _TRASH_ TRACKED US DOWN?!

DAMNIT.

IT'S TIME TO MOVE AWAY.

A DAY WITH **HIM** IN THE SAME AREA WITH SHUICHI, THERE'S DEFINITELY TROUBLE OCCURRED.

I REALLY HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS.

PLEASE, STOP AFFECTING US, AFFECTING SHUICHI.

STOP STEPPING IN THE LINES.

JUST LEAVE SHUICHI ALONE, YOU SHIT.

YOU DON'T DESERVE HIM.

BIG PIECE OF TRASH THAT ONLY POLLUTES MOTHER EARTH.

* * *

Day 71 of treatment.

He's back again, just right we about to leave the house.

Shuichi saw him.

He called out for him, with his 'desperate yet filled with joy' voice.

Shuichi turned, look at him confusedly, and ignored.

He grabbed on his shoulder, earning a slight frown on his face.

I quickly went up to them and break them apart.

"What do you exactly want from harassing us, you big piece of trash!"

I hissed at him.

"I… just want to patch back. With Shuichi."

He said, while his gaze fixed on the strawberry-head lad.

"No way, in this or ever afterlife!"

I said, as I quickly grabbed Shuichi to hop on the booked taxi.

"Shuichi, I love you!"

He shouted, as both Shuichi and I froze.

**THAT. TRASH. BROKE. THE. SEAL.**

Shuichi was in pain, he clutched on his head so hard.

He isn't looking at anywhere, as he just ran straight down to the road.

Truck didn't manage to stop.

Shuichi, lying on the road, lifeless.

Blood, everywhere.

I dashed, took out my clothing and anything to stop the bleeding.

There's lots of screaming and crowd, the ambulance came quickly and the next thing I know, I'm in front of the emergency surgery room.

Shuichi's family came with Hiroshi, but I didn't do much except for praying.

I prayed every day, hour, minute, second.

I don't know but I just want him to be well.

That trash, is still there.

I walked up to him, gave him a punch in his face, then his stomach, then everywhere.

He didn't fight back.

Well, **HE** caused Shuichi to be in the current state now, he still have the cheek to fight back?

Damnit.

"_**GET LOST AND NEVER, EVER APPEAR AGAIN! YOU'RE THE MAIN CAUSE THAT HE IS LIKE THIS NOW! GET LOST BEFORE I TAKE YOUR LIFE WITH MY BARE HAND!**_"

I burst, with Hiroshi holding on me.

That big piece of _trash_ walked off.

I don't know if he will appear again, I don't care since I will definitely beat the hell out of him if I ever see him once.

I'm never letting him go easily anymore.

How much tragic does he want to cause Shuichi to be in?!

…

The doctor came out, say announced that the clot is removed but apparently his conscious isn't there, like he doesn't want to wake up.

It's up to his will now.

Shuichi…

No matter what you become of you, I'll still remain…

My sleeping beauty.

* * *

Day ? 

I already lost track on how many years, months that I've been by his side.

There's no sign of him waking up.

It's okay, I can wait.

Anything for you…

Do you know?

You're already 35 this year.

It's been 16 years ever you have been sleeping, my dearest.

I'm hoping that I can be there for you forever, but apparently I have to break that promise…

I'm diagnose with cancer.

Guess what? It's the 4th stage.

Ah, your finger moved a little.

Are you showing signs that you're worried?

It's okay, I'll… be fine.

For you.

… I hope.

* * *

Last day.

Today will be the very last day to be with him, my dearest.

As usual, he is peaceful, in his deep sleep.

I took a look of him, before I passed the letter to Hiroshi.

"Are you sure that you don't want to talk to him?"

He asked.

"…"

"Just go in."

He said, as he pushed me to him.

I got hold of his once beautiful hand, gently peck a kiss.

"Hey, Shuichi. I know I never said this to you before…"

"But I want you to know, I never once regret knowing you, and be falling in love with you to the end of my life."

"Thank you, and I love you."

I said, as I gently put down his hand and collapsed.

\- Kaine


End file.
